51 things Drake Merwin is not allowed to do
by FrostyShadows
Summary: Sam, Caine and Diana get together to make a list of what everyone's favourite psychopath must refrain from doing in the FAYZ


**Disclaimer: We all kno****w who the Gone series belong to. I just want to emphasize that Caine is all mine. Got that? MINE. **

**Weeeeeeee****ee I can't believe I'm publishing this~ It's been waiting in my computer even before I wrote 51 things Sam Temple is not allowed to do but I couldn't get past 12. So Drake's wall on Fayzbook came out instead. But I was reading over the reviews and decided to finally finish this thing. So, thanks to you awesome reviewers! **

_Drake is not allowed to post "chains and whips excite me" as his Facebook status._

_because it will give the FAYZ residents disturbing images in their minds,_

_forcing Astrid to explain what it actually means._

_Drake is not allowed to not understand her explanations_

_since if he doesn't Astrid might decide to demonstrate with Sam._

_thus creating even more disturbing images for those poor residents._

_What are you talking about? She is more than welcome to demonstrate ;)_

_no, Sam, no._

_Drake__ really shouldn't attempt to copy their demonstration._

_He__ is advised to wear a bra at all times_

_preferably hot pink._

_because who knows when Brit__tney will suddenly appear?_

_He is not allowed to wear a skirt though._

_At least not a tight mini one._

_because who knows when he will suddenly appear with all his male parts?_

_Drake is not allowed to __whip people just for the hell of it._

_especially not Sam._

_Instead of whipping people, maybe he should just whip his hair._

_Literally._

_A__s in, using his hand._

_It'll save him the trouble of breaking and entering Sam's house to steal his beloved __sparkly purple comb_

_and his __hairspray._

_Although it's kinda too late for that._

_Drake is not allowed to practice his evil laugh in public._

_We all know Caine's is better._

_Which is sad if you think about it, considering what Caine's sounds like._

_Drake is not allowed to continuously grow back various limbs __that Sam and Caine put so much work into destroying. _

_He is not allowed to __kidnap a bunch of little kids_

_and force them to play Red Rover_

_or Octopus tag_

_or any other games where his whip hand will put him at a huge advantage._

_He may also not make them tie his shoes for them._

_Drake is not allowed __to name any of the coyotes Jacob Black._

_He is not allowed to leer suggestively at girls_

_or boys_

_or other living things_

_or guns_

_or other inanimate objects._

_He is strongly advised to get __help for his objectum-sexuality_

_and to not__ breed creepy mutated animals as a hobby._

_Actually that's not much of a problem since he__'d rather be with his guns. _

_Drake is not allowed to hide in people's closets and say "The Darkness will eat yo braaaaaaaains"_

_and__ proceed to laugh evilly_

_because that line is__ reserved for the zombies on plants vs. zombies. _

_Drake is not allowed to rap Drake songs. _

_Not that he should sing in general._

_He is not allowed to__ threaten people into giving him a complete mani-pedi. _

_then ruin it acting like a__ psychopath trying to whip people. (LIKE a psychopath? He totally is one)_

_Finally, Drake is not allowed to become a drag queen after liking the mani-pedi too much. _

_Especially since he's kinda half female already due to Brittney.__ Being a drag queen would make him, like, 3/4 female. Which would make the fangirls very sad. _

Diana looked over the list, "Good enough. I'm just glad you two didn't tear own the place before it was done."

"Heh…" Caine sheepishly lowered the hammer he'd levitated near his twin's head.

Drake came in with an expression of confused thoughtfulness furrowing his features. He brightened when he saw Sam, "Hey, you can boil water right?"

"Yeah…" He looked warily at his former tormentor.

"I'm just wondering if my arm tastes like seafood." Drake shrugged.

Sam's jaw dropped, "Let me get this straight, you want me to make sushi from your arm? Ewww!" The last part came out as a high-pitched girly squeal.

"Um, something like that. Seriously, I've been thinking about whether or not my whip hand tastes nice for so long!"

Caine started doing that annoying evil laugh as Diana shook her head in amazement and reached for the pencil.

_Drake is not allowed to __make sushi out of his whip hand out of curiosity. _

**I d****idn't decide yet I'll do next, or even if I'll write another one. I love Diana and Dekka but I just can't think of anything for those two. **

**On another note, I'm Chinese-Canadian therefore I have a panda and a polar bear. Contrary to popular belief, they enjoy eating human flesh. So review. Or else. –evil laughter- (no, I don't know where that came from. REVIEW ANYWAY)**

**~Frostyshadows~**


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